Andrew Zimmern Can Eat A Bag Of Dicks (And Has, Probably)
You don’t have to do that to be a good chef. Adventurous Palate Optional.
That isn’t an exaggeration. Andrew Zimmerman has eaten PornHub amounts of penis.
He’s also an absolute beast of a chef.
Is there a correlation? Sure, his palate has experienced flavor profiles mine has never even considered.
Do you have to do that? Absolutely not.
It’s become either a rite of passage or some kind of chest-thumping badge of honor to be the most weird-eating chef in the bunch.
I ate a scorpion once. Hated it. I got to feel cool for 5 seconds before another chef I knew just HAD to one-up me.
And that’s all eating weird shit is. One-uppery.
If you’ve eaten ants, a chef on the line will one up you with spiders. If you’ve eaten spiders, the sous chef will brag about the time they ate human or something.
But all Weird-Food Flex Off Roads lead to dicks. It’s Dicks All The Way Down. Eating a Dick is a magical trump-card to win the Weird Food Flex Off.
So if you think you can chase that Adventurous Eater Badge Of Honor WITHOUT gobbling down an animal’s Yogurt Cannon: I got unfortunate news for you.
So don’t you worry about how unadventurous you’ve been with your taste buds. It’s not a requirement for being good at cooking. Giada De Laurentiis won’t eat fucking green bell peppers and no one questions her cooking accumen.
You can flex your creative muscles in the kitchen JUST FINE without gobbling Umami Poonani or whatever the exotic dish Vice is reporting on that week.
Your taste buds. Your rules.
Chef4Fingers is a food-prude who thinks dolmas have the consistency of a warm Organic Tampon. He can be found here on Medium, on Twitter as TheChef4Fingers.
